It’s been rough…

Hello everyone that reads my posts the few times I actually post.
I'll give you all a little update on my life.

I had a new exam in June, which I failed. I'm really good at this apparently... Really what happened was that I had an anxiety attack while taking my exam. Even though I was in a room by myself, I still couldn't cope. So after a little bit of trying I ended up hyperventilating and just broke down.

And a lot more has happened. My contract with my work ended in the end of June and I got a job there as an on call receptionist. I don't work very often and I didn't really have anything at all. So life started to go down hill very fast.

I don't really have much of a social life outside of my previous workplace and so I became very alone and very rarely left the house. And in September I tried to take my own life because of my depression and anxieties. At the time I had a friend who stopped me and started being with me 24/7, though online because she lived very far away. It wasn't really my best of times and I tried several times. Now I know this is not really what you want to read about, but life has been really hard for me.

After that, my boyfriend at the time dumped me after I'd been crazy for a while. And life kinda of continued like that with my depression and anxieties taking hold of me. I had tried to get help with therapy or psychologist but I was denied. I tried again but only got a community worker on my case. He started goes through my files from way back when I was 12 and in an institution. So I didn't get much help there either.

For a few months I stuck to this friend so much that in December, she had enough of me and told me bye. She was the only one I really talked a lot with and so I got seriously depressed again. I would have tried again except for someone else I was introduced to in November.

I spent a lot of time talk to this new friend of mine. She was really great and she had problems of her own that she talked to me about. So after months of talking and received a gift from her, though that didn't arrive before the beginning of January. I sent her a gift back and things her going really well. Again I was kind of happy. Well, happier than I had been for a good while.

(To be continued in My Trip to the USA.)

3 Replies to “It’s been rough…”

  1. Good to see you’re writing about it. Continue writing, in private or here. It’s like therapy. Write it out of your system.

    1. Thank you for the support mum. And I will keep writing here. Even if I don’t write on here a lot, I still love this website of mine. And it is kind of therapeutic to write here.

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