So, I´ve been trying to get a few notes down about my past. But my mind didn´t seem to like that and left me thinking about so many other things instead. Like my past and my future.
For example, will I always be alone? Now I know I´m not alone but that´s how I feel even if I have alot of good friends. But the problem is that I´m always busy and I don´t want to hang out with anyone. I like being alone, but there are so many times where I really want someone to hold me and love me.
now I know this isn't food, butI want to at least start it of with something nice and mild. I'm not entirely sure of why I decided to start with Faded cafe in Stavanger, because the hot chocolate they have isn't all that good...
But they do actually make it out of real chocolate and not some powder they might have ready at other places.
That's one thing I like about them. Not only that but the design of the place is pretty nice! It's very open and it's not too bright, as well as the staff as really nice. Kinda makes you want to help them before you go.
So far today, everything has gone so well. I´m happy I got to talk 5 minutes before lunch, it was really nervwrecking to talk about my situation. I could barely get my words out. I´d written 2 pages about what I was going to say. But what came out of my mouth was everything I´d written, just scrabbled. I was so nervous that I couldn´t follow what I´d written. But all in all it felt so good to get it all out, breaking the ice on this subject.
My mind is melting down at the moment.. I made a profile on a meet/dating site called Gaysir.no and now after chatting with this one guy for a day or so, he's asking me out, and it's freaking me out! I'm way too self-conscious about my appearance. He knows I'm a MTF (Male to female) Transgender. But it doesn't help the fact that I'm too self-conscious... He lives up state from me about 5 hours drive or so, I'm guessing. Either way.. What the heck do I do?? >_<''